Not Conventional
by AtLoLevad
Summary: Jane's tired of waiting for Kurt to propose to her, so she takes matters into her own hands. With assistance from the team, of course.


Jane peers out of the window in Kurt's office, chin resting on her palm. It's Wednesday, just after 1pm, and she's waiting for Kurt to reappear from his meeting. He's already been in there for a half-hour, so she expects him to make an appearance soon.

Since their schedules don't overlap so much anymore, with him stuck in his office or in meetings and her out in the field with the team, they implemented Wednesday Lunches. (Occasionally they turn into whatever day we're available lunches, but not too often.) Their lunches are a nice way to break up the week and just talk.

So Jane waits. When Kurt meets with Director Pellington (that dick, Jane always qualifies when she thinks about him), the meetings inevitably run way too long. Probably, they've concluded, a result of Kurt reopening the Jane Doe case, rehiring Jane, and making sure her paperwork to become an official fed was expedited.

Jane wonders what the Director would do to them if he found out that they were dating. Nothing good, she is sure.

She shakes her head and resumes waiting. It's fun to people-watch from Kurt's office. She has a great view of the Supreme Court across the street and tiny Foley Park with its fountain.

All of a sudden, a whole host of couples appear outside of 80 Centre St, the building next to the Supreme Court and the building that hosts several city agencies. Jane squints to make out the fact that most of the women are in white; some in dresses, some in pants, some in colors, but most in white. The men are in suits and there are plenty of flowers.

Jane tilts her head in confusion. Obviously these people are getting married but she didn't think they could do that in a regular office building.

She abandons Kurt's office, he'll come find her when he's done, and goes on a hunt for Tasha or Patterson. They'll explain the random weddings she saw.

Tasha's at her desk when Jane emerges from Kurt's office, so she makes a beeline for the other woman on the team. Jane plants her hands on the top of Tasha's desk, the sudden noise startling the other woman.

"Jesus, Jane!" Tasha says, wide-eyed, "give a girl a heart attack, why don't you!"

"Sorry, Tasha," Jane says genuinely. "I have a question for you though."

Tasha drops her pen to her desk and grins, "Shoot. I'm sick of paperwork anyway."

Jane feels silly for asking, but she does anyway. "So the building across the street. Can people get married there?"

A slow, sly smile spreads across Tasha's face and Jane instantly regrets asking.

"Sure can. Why? Assistant Director Crankypants not shelling out for a wedding?" Tasha laughs, still smiling broadly. "Is he making you plan a quickie? And not the fun kind."

"Not exactly," Jane wrinkles her nose. "He hasn't asked me."

Tasha's mouth drops open. "To marry you? He hasn't proposed yet? But...you're Jane and Kurt. Damn! Reade won the bet too that means."

"Bet?" Jane raises her eyebrows, amused.

"Yeah, it's silly," Tasha waves her off and stands up from her desk. "Let's go. We're getting Patterson."

"Why?" Jane follows Tasha to the elevator, wondering briefly how a simple question turned into a mission.

"Oh you'll see," Tasha grins mischievously, punching the button for Patterson's floor.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later Jane is stuffed in a dressing room in Century 21 with Patterson and Zapata tossing dresses at her over the top of the door.

"I don't think Kurt will go for this," Jane sighs, shimmying into a white sundress.

She emerges from the dressing room and Patterson shakes her head.

"No. Too long," the bubbly blonde dismisses the dress with a wrinkle of her nose. "Try on the white one with the black polka dots on the bottom hem."

"Kurt is being an idiot," Tasha says in response to Jane's earlier worry as the potential bride-to-be heads back into the dressing room. "A little push down the aisle is good for him."

"But what if he doesn't want to get married?" Jane zips up the dress Patterson had liked. She spins a little, checking out the dress in the mirror. It's pretty and she likes it, but it doesn't feel right.

"Oh he wants to get married," Patterson and Zapata assure her simultaneously.

Jane raises an eyebrow; she wonders what they know that she doesn't. But before she can think on it too much, Zapata squeals loudly. Jane grins, the noise is so uncharacteristic of the agent so it's fun to hear when Tasha lets loose.

"What?" Jane leans up on her tiptoes and pokes her head over the door.

"This is the one," Tasha shoves a white dress at Jane. Jane catches it easily and Patterson grumbles.

"Why not the one I picked? Jane didn't even show us how it looked," the tech whiz pouts, crossing her arms. Tasha pats her on the shoulder.

"You can help me pick a dress for my wedding."

Patterson raises her eyebrows, "That could be years!"

Jane steps out of the dressing room before Tasha can make a caustic comment.

"Oh! You look so gorgeous!"

"Janie! Kurt's going to lose his mind!"

Jane blushes at their compliments. She smooths her hands over the slippery satin of the short skirt and looks up at them.

"The one?"

Her friends nod.

"Definitely the one," Patterson exclaims, hands clasped and a misty expression on her face. "You look so beautiful!"

Tasha nods in agreement. "Now come on. We have to pay and fix your hair and makeup before we can get Kurt and Reade."

"And Sarah and Sawyer!" Jane calls out as she gathers her clothes. "Sarah will kill me if she finds out that we didn't invite her."

"Already on it," Patterson grins, waving her phone in the air as they practically run for the cash registers.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Jane says, a little stunned and a lot excited. Tasha yanks the price tag off of the dress Jane is wearing and hands it over to be scanned.

"Believe it!" Tasha laughs. "In three hours, minimum, you'll be a married woman!"

"Mrs. Assistant Director Weller!" Patterson chimes in, eliciting grins from her friends.

* * *

"Hey, Reade," Kurt pokes his head out of his office. "You seen Jane? We were supposed to have lunch."

Reade, fully clued in on the plan for the afternoon, nods. "Yeah. She was waiting for you, but had to go pick something up."

Kurt wrinkles his forehead, "What? She's supposed to be working on paperwork."

"I don't know, man. She said she had to get something from the prosecutor we worked with on that drug case a few weeks back and ran out of here," Reade shrugs, faking nonchalance like a pro.

"That's weird," Kurt shakes his head, "I thought we closed that up and put out the press release?"

Reade shrugs again, "No idea. She's your girlfriend."

"I'm gonna go see if I can meet her outside. I have time for a late lunch, even if it's just sandwiches from Pret." He looks at his watch and frowns, "a really late lunch."

Grabbing his suit jacket, Kurt heads for the elevator. Reade grins as soon as Kurt's back is turned and texts Zapata.

As soon as the message is sent, Reade grabs his own jacket and bolts for a different elevator. He wants to make it to the rendezvous point before Weller. The man's reaction is going to be priceless.

* * *

Kurt texts Jane as he heads out onto Lafayette Street and crosses through Foley Square. He dodges a woman with a baby stroller and ignores the old woman that shouts at him for texting and walking.

 _On the corner of Worth and Centre_ Jane texts back.

Kurt looks up and he can just make out her short black hair through the crowd of people waiting to cross the street. He grins to himself and jaywalks, ducking past the honking cabs and trucks.

"Jane!" he calls out her name to get her attention just before grabbing her arm. She spins around and smiles at him.

"Hey, you finally got out of that meeting," she says after leaning up on her toes to kiss him quickly. There's a tiny smirk on her face as she waits for Kurt to notice her dress.

It takes him a few minutes, distracted by a rant against the Director, but his eyes pop open and his jaw drops when he notices that she's in a short white dress and not the pants and army jacket she left the apartment in. She looks beautiful, the white material standing in stark contrast to her black tattoos. Kurt can't keep his eyes off of her.

He quirks an eyebrow, "Jane? What are you wearing?"

She doesn't answer right away and Kurt shakes his head, "That's not…? Are you in a wedding dress?"

"They let you become Assistant Director with those observation skills?" Tasha pipes up from just behind Jane, shaking her head. "Reade, the standards for the FBI must be declining."

Reade laughs, "Give the man a break, Tash. He just had to suffer through a three hour meeting with Pellington."

"No excuse," Tasha shoots the group a smirk. "Now come on, we're going to miss our appointment."

She and Reade lead the quasi-parade up the steps to the building that houses the New York City Marriage Bureau. Kurt tugs at Jane's fingers.

"What is this, Jane?" he whispers, curious.

"This," Jane says simply, "Is me getting you to marry me."

Kurt's jaw drops.

"What?" he says, practically shouts. His outburst draws the attention of several people in the lobby, including their team and his sister and nephew.

Jane presses a hand firmly to Kurt's chest, "Kurt, we've been together almost three years. You haven't proposed, or anything. I got tired of waiting, so I took matters into my own hands."

"Seriously?" Kurt shakes his head and reaches into his pants pocket, withdrawing a small ring box. Jane's eyebrows shoot up and she can hear an audible gasp from the group of their friends behind her.

"Kurt…" Jane drags out his name, even as her fingers curl into the lapels on his suit jacket.

"Yeah," he chuckles, "I was talking to Pellington to make sure he was aware of this new development. No rules against it, and I wanted to make sure he knew that I knew that and wasn't going to throw the book at us down the line."

He smiles crookedly, "I was going to ask you tonight."

"Seriously?" Jane repeats Kurt's earlier question.

"Seriously," he confirms with a solemn nod of his head. "Ask Sarah. This is our mom's ring."

Jane turns her head to look at the younger Weller sibling. Sarah nods happily.

"He really was! We went and got the ring from the safe deposit box like a month ago," the blonde confirms, hands clasped together in front of her face. "I can not believe that this is happening!"

"As much as I'm enjoying the goofy looks on both of your faces," Tasha says, "is a wedding happening now or later? Because we're going to lose our place in line."

She hikes a thumb over her shoulder and they all see the disgruntled looks on the couples waiting in line. Kurt looks at Jane, tilting his head.

"What do you say?' he asks, holding the ring in between them.

Jane looks at the ring, at their friends, up at Kurt's open, smiling face. She plucks the ring from its resting place and nods.

"I think July 8th is a perfect day to get married."

Kurt laughs and takes the ring back so he can slip it on her finger, "I think you're right."

"Hey! He already has the mindset of a good husband," Patterson teases, earning a high-five from Reade.

"Watch it, Patterson," Kurt mock-growls, an arm looped around Jane's waist. The bubbly blonde shoots her boss a grin and wiggles her eyebrows, knowing Kurt isn't going to do anything to her. Patterson is the first one to step into the marriage bureau, leading the way for everyone else.

Kurt and Jane hang back for a few minutes alone. They can see that Tasha's opening her mouth to hurry them along, but Sarah intervenes, offering them a small, but happy smile as she tugs on Tasha's arm to get her to turn around.

Kurt, arms wrapped around Jane's back, leans his forehead against hers. Jane breathes in the scent of his cologne, feeling safe and secure and _happy_ in his arms.

"Hey," he murmurs, so low only she can hear him, "this was kind of crazy. I get it if you want to push a wedding back."

Jane presses her nose into his chest briefly before pulling away to look him in the eyes. "Kurt, I planned an elaborate ruse to get you here to marry me. Are you sure _you_ don't want to push it back? I know this was kind of sprung on you, and I don't know. Do you want a conventional wedding?"

He shakes his head, "Nah. I don't think conventional has ever been our style."

"No," Jane agrees. "Not many people meet their future wives when she comes out of a duffel bag, naked, in Times Square."

"With a huge tattoo of his name on her back too," Kurt adds, his eyes twinkling.

"So, not conventional?"

In response, Kurt cups her face in his hands and kisses her soundly. When they break apart, he gives her an uncharacteristically shy smile; "I want you to leave work today as Jane Doe-Weller."

"Hyphenated?" Jane teases, "What if I want to be Jane Weller?"

Now giving her a totally shit-eating grin, Kurt replies, "You can be whoever you want, as long as I get to take that dress off of you with my teeth."

Jane's eyes widen in surprise and she goes along as Kurt pulls her by the hand into the marriage bureau where all of their friends are waiting.

* * *

She leaves work as Jane Doe-Weller and he most definitely uses his teeth to get rid of Jane's dress.

It's a wedding night for the ages.

* * *

 _A/N: So this was inspired by a post I saw on kate-dammit-run 's Tumblr. It's very silly, and probably very out of character since I'm still figuring out how to write the gang, but let me know what you think!_

 _Enjoy! :)_


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